A New Beginning

It recently occurred to me that today is the end of a decade. Why this didn't hit me earlier, I am not sure, but the end result is the beginning of a new human marked time. Perhaps that is why I didn't notice it, because as humans, we tend not to feel what is in front of us as much as we tend to feel what is behind us. And to those of us who are old enough, we can look back on the past ten years. The ups and downs, the gains and losses, the triumphs and mistakes all float back to us, or in my case rush at me from all sides as I consider the choices I made and the situations I couldn't control.
And I think back to ten years ago, a brand new millennium, when I was just 14, but I at the time I felt pretty much the same as I do now. But I never really was a child, just full of childish ideas sometimes. I remember being upset because I couldn't drive, and it was sure to be the wildest party the Earth had seen in a thousand years. Somehow I survived, perhaps it was the other 14 year old, Ashley Wright, who giggled over our youth on the phone, or maybe the fact that I definitely made up for that night in the coming years--though perhaps not always in a pleasing way for my friends who often had to come to my rescue over the next handful of years.
And now, my head drifts to 14 year olds today who probably feel 20 years old and long to run free and be released of the shackles of those hardest of years, where you know how to do it, but no one will let you. How old they must feel, while in truth they haven't even begun. Too bad I couldn't recognize those facts 10 years prior for myself...
A lot happens between the ages of 14 and 24. The biggest events in my life have occurred so far within this chunk of time, and though I feel quite old today, there is no doubt in my mind that I will look back to the next 10 years and remember at 34 just how young I am today. Though I feel like I have battled a lot for my age, I am quite sure that I am still full of naivety somehow, and though I do not like the thought of aging, somehow it is comforting to know that there are still things left to be learned.
Perhaps that is how I can sum up the last ten years of my life, a learning experience. And much like academically, it took quite a few run throughs to start getting things right. Many of life's lessons, I have fought tooth and nail against, but in the end, the world has a way of setting you straight, no matter how much fight you have in you.
Somehow, I can't help but feel a little sad today. As a Taurus, I find it quite hard to move on and even harder to accept the vast changes that come with this ever changing life. But, I suppose in the time that humans have created, I have picked no better day to end the unintended seven year moonlighting position of indentured servitude...oh excuse me, I meant serving...tables that is. Funny that the former quite literally did last seven years when people wanted to become Americans long ago. And in a way, I feel like I have paid many debts to get me where I am today. And even though I have made countless mistakes along the way, I would not change one thing, not because I don't have regrets, but because I fear that if it were for one different breath, one changed step, I would not be sitting here, but somewhere else. And whether somewhere else would be better or worse, for now, there is no place I would rather be than here (minus that whole job thing I have to do tonight).
So for anyone that has to endure this passage, I wish you a wonderfully fun (and safe) New Year. May the coming decade bring all the joy you deserve!

Happy New Year!