A New Beginning

It recently occurred to me that today is the end of a decade. Why this didn't hit me earlier, I am not sure, but the end result is the beginning of a new human marked time. Perhaps that is why I didn't notice it, because as humans, we tend not to feel what is in front of us as much as we tend to feel what is behind us. And to those of us who are old enough, we can look back on the past ten years. The ups and downs, the gains and losses, the triumphs and mistakes all float back to us, or in my case rush at me from all sides as I consider the choices I made and the situations I couldn't control.
And I think back to ten years ago, a brand new millennium, when I was just 14, but I at the time I felt pretty much the same as I do now. But I never really was a child, just full of childish ideas sometimes. I remember being upset because I couldn't drive, and it was sure to be the wildest party the Earth had seen in a thousand years. Somehow I survived, perhaps it was the other 14 year old, Ashley Wright, who giggled over our youth on the phone, or maybe the fact that I definitely made up for that night in the coming years--though perhaps not always in a pleasing way for my friends who often had to come to my rescue over the next handful of years.
And now, my head drifts to 14 year olds today who probably feel 20 years old and long to run free and be released of the shackles of those hardest of years, where you know how to do it, but no one will let you. How old they must feel, while in truth they haven't even begun. Too bad I couldn't recognize those facts 10 years prior for myself...
A lot happens between the ages of 14 and 24. The biggest events in my life have occurred so far within this chunk of time, and though I feel quite old today, there is no doubt in my mind that I will look back to the next 10 years and remember at 34 just how young I am today. Though I feel like I have battled a lot for my age, I am quite sure that I am still full of naivety somehow, and though I do not like the thought of aging, somehow it is comforting to know that there are still things left to be learned.
Perhaps that is how I can sum up the last ten years of my life, a learning experience. And much like academically, it took quite a few run throughs to start getting things right. Many of life's lessons, I have fought tooth and nail against, but in the end, the world has a way of setting you straight, no matter how much fight you have in you.
Somehow, I can't help but feel a little sad today. As a Taurus, I find it quite hard to move on and even harder to accept the vast changes that come with this ever changing life. But, I suppose in the time that humans have created, I have picked no better day to end the unintended seven year moonlighting position of indentured servitude...oh excuse me, I meant serving...tables that is. Funny that the former quite literally did last seven years when people wanted to become Americans long ago. And in a way, I feel like I have paid many debts to get me where I am today. And even though I have made countless mistakes along the way, I would not change one thing, not because I don't have regrets, but because I fear that if it were for one different breath, one changed step, I would not be sitting here, but somewhere else. And whether somewhere else would be better or worse, for now, there is no place I would rather be than here (minus that whole job thing I have to do tonight).
So for anyone that has to endure this passage, I wish you a wonderfully fun (and safe) New Year. May the coming decade bring all the joy you deserve!

Happy New Year!

To My One True Love

Casey

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, everything I will ever need...by just being exactly who he is.

On the final and twelfth day of Christmas I am breaking my pattern of numbers because I just can't find a number to define what you mean to me. It is hard to believe we have known each other for nearly five years now. I can't tell you in words how much you add to my life. The last years have been some of the happiest in my life, and I owe quite a bit of that feeling to you.

And how lucky do I feel that you are not only my love, but you are my companion and my best friend too. How can I thank you for the things you do for me on a daily basis? I suppose I could start by telling you...

I thank you for being there for me when I fall apart, and for being there to build me back up again. I thank you for always believing in me, when I never have known how. Thank you for helping me financially as I try to make it to graduation. My hope is that I can return the favor when I am steady on my feet. Thank you for cooking for me all the time, buying us dinner when we are both exhausted, and constantly bringing us home little treats for our unquenchable sweet tooth. Most of all, I think you for your constant consideration. My whole life I had been taught that men are inconsiderate, but you changed that.

I hate to sound cliche, but they broke the mold when they made you. You are everything I ever wanted and more. In so many ways you have changed my life and gave me strength I had long ago forgotten about. I love the way you know what I'm thinking just my looking at my face or by hearing the sound of my voice. I love the way you know me so well. Most of all, I love the way we love each other.

And no matter how tough things get from time to time, know that we always have one another. I know that's what gets me through as I struggle to meet my goals. I know that no matter how horrible my day is, no matter how much school kicks my ass, no matter how crappy customers at work treat me, I have a sweet, gentle, and loving person to come home to, and that is the greatest Christmas gift I could ever receive!

All My Love,

Salina

William Albert

Dear Dad

On the 11th day of Christmas, my father gave to me, eleven traits that unknowingly came from him.

I regret to say for a long time, I didn't really know you. But as it came to be, I am so happy that you are such a big, and special, part of my life now. Here is 11 things that definitely came from you, most I wasn't sure of until we became closer:

1. intelligence


2. shyness


3. ability to fake an outgoing personality


4. sensitivity


5. bark worse than our bite


6. straight forward/straight shooter


7. hard worker (although arguably that came from everyone)


8. wrong person to back into a corner


9. silly singing and dancing (also arguable from several people)


10. tendency to talk over people when we're excited


11. big calves

There is no doubt in my mind that there are many, many more things we have in common, but, you know, I'm trying to keep a theme up here. Still, as time goes on, I find that we share more and more in our basic personalities and other things than I ever imagined.

I can't tell you how much it means to me that we are closer now. I know the family history is complicated, but I am glad that we could finally get passed things neither one of us could control. And strange enough, but as time goes on, I feel like we get even better at this father-daughter thing. Thank you for all you have helped me with over the past [almost three] years now. You have talked to me when I'm upset, helped make ends meet when things are tough, and just been an all around great dad. Especially if you consider how far away we live from each other.

I hate that we had to cut the New York trip, but the important thing is that we get the chance to see each other over the holidays. And hopefully, soon Casey and I can make the trip to see you. We both just have the worst schedules ever. Anyways, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I have never seen you as happy as you are lately. It really is great to see, and I hope that your happiness only grows and continues on through out the years.

I know I'm not going to see you on Christmas Day, but I think what you are doing is very sweet and speaks to the very kind person you are. I'm sure that when you're surrounded by good and loving company, you will have a very Merry Christmas, but just remember you have a whole family in Georgia missing and loving you. Keep in touch about when you are able to get into town, and I am so excited to see you.

Love Always,

Cee

Holden

Dear Holden

On the 10th day of Christmas, my cousin gave to me, 10 bruises purposefully.

From ambushing and beating me up while I'm on the couch to attacking me directly, you have consistently been trying to kill me since you were little. But it's okay because I know that it's mostly in love.

However, I must mention that you are a great cousin. For as long as I can remember, and to this day, you still are so good to me when I come to visit. You're always so helpful and willing to go get me food or whatever I need. Thank you for always making me feel welcome when I come down to your side of town. And though I can't come over as much as I used to, I enjoy being around you every time I can get there...

I can't believe that you are 14 years old. It is so weird to think that at one point I was holding you in my arms, and you were just a brand new baby. It is quite crazy to see you go through the phases. I watched you grow into your head, and don't take it personally, I'm still growing into my teeth so... You just used to hit that cannonball on every wall, table, floor. It was as if there was a magnet in that thing.

Then I experienced your question phase, which I'm no doctor, but I'm relatively sure that it lasted longer than most and at the movies you came close to losing your life. At the time your volume never changed, no matter the circumstance.

And now I'm watching you go through a new phase. Being a teenager is a mixed blessing you see because it's when you have the least responsibilities with the most freedom. On the other hand, you never feel more awkward, misunderstood, or insecure. There's a reason they call it teen angst. And it almost seems like tradition that the moment you hit 13, everything gets weird. But you will also have some of the best times of your life. Remember to not listen to other people's experiences, and concentrate on making your own.

But Holden just remember that you are an intelligent, inquisitive, and creative person. For a while I thought you were going to grow up to be a writer like your cousin. You've got all the stuff their to do it. But then I think about your Uncle Billy that thinks you've got everything it takes to be a pro bicycler. And that's it, you have all the tools there to do or be whatever you want to be. Not everybody has that ability, so you should be happy to be one of the few who do.

Just so you know, it does make me sad that I can't be down there as often, but that makes the times I get there all the more special. I look forward to seeing you at Christmas!!

Love Always,

Salina

Scherry

Dearest Scherry

On the 9th day of Christmas, my God-Mother gave to me, nine inspirations as to the woman I wanted to be.

The following traits you possess I have always admired and aspired to in my own life:

1. independence


2. intelligence
   
3. beauty


4. domestication


5. creativity


6. style


7. sophistication


8. wit


9. an insatiable laugh

How on Earth could I leave a fellow Smith out of the running for my family Christmas blog? (Although technically I'm only half Smith) And though we may not be blood related, nor right down the street from each other anymore, you are never far from my thoughts. This also doesn't make you any less like family, after all, you are my God-Mother. And so what if we're not Catholic, we can do what we like, and you were ordained by the hand of friendship to take me off my mother's hands from time to time and buy me really cool stuff.

I couldn't ask for a better (or crazier) God-Mother. But what I want you to know is how much I have appreciated having you in my life. No wonder I have never felt like a child. I only had adult friends, and you were always one of them. What has really been special about our relationship is that we have loved each other up close when possible and from a distance when necessary without judgment.

Scherry you are much like a fine wine, and you only get better with age. I can only hope that I will be as fortunate as you in that department. And while I hope to somehow luck out there, we actually have quite a lot in common, especially our nature, which is mostly affected by our Taurean birth. We crave the fine things in life, from aesthetics to dining to luxurious home comforts. We are also both slaves to our schedules and despise change.

But the one change I could handle is if you ever decide to move back home...though I couldn't blame you if you didn't (since Georgia sucks). At any rate, though I won't see you over the holidays, I hope that you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love Always,

Salina

Sheldon

Dear Sheldon

On the 8th day of Christmas, my cousin gave to me, eight bruises accidentally.

This is quite a true statement by the way. In every sense of the word, you have always been Bam-Bam. From the time you were two, and nearly gave me a concussion, to now when you hug me and almost break me in two. But that's okay because your like over 6 feet tall, and you've practically outgrew me by the time you were four.

But despite all the bruises I have accumulated over the years, I want you to know that you are a wonderful cousin. I actually look at you and Holden as more like my nephew's because of the age difference...I mean what age difference? I'm only 19 you know.

Seriously though, thank you for always putting up with me being at your house when I was younger and always having these "serious" chats with your mom, and then kicking you out of the room. Thank you for always doing just about whatever I ask and of course always making me feel right at home when I come over. If that's not a good cousin, then I ask, what is?

And of course, there is just the person, almost a man, that you have grown into. You are genuinely sweet (definitely didn't get that from me), and not just with people you like, but everybody. I mean I have watched you help random strangers with packages, hold open doors, etc. I mean that kind of stuff ended way before my generation, so it is good to see someone still be so kind and respectful to others...without money even.

Of course all you have accomplished academically is amazing. I can't believe your in college. All I ask is that you not graduate before me...please. Don't shame me. Really I am 87 percent kidding, and 67 percent okay with you graduating before me. I wish you good luck in all your future endeavours, but clearly with brains like yours, you don't even need luck.

Finally, this is important. It is from me to you, cousin to cousin, and straight from the heart. Enjoy your life! You only get one, and you're young. Don't waste it all behind a desk or on a computer. I will add to not necessarily have as much fun as some of us (aka me), but relax! You have got plenty of time, and you won't be young forever. Those bills and all that other yucky adult crap sneaks up on you faster than you realize. In the end, life is about more than just school, careers, and money. It's also about friends, family, and fun!

Anyway, I miss you and I will see you on Christmas. Until then have a great winter break!

Love,

Salina

Unca Bob

Dear Bob







On the 7th day of Christmas, my uncle gave to me, seven of the best holiday recipes.

1. Lamb


2. Holiday bake


3. broccoli cheese casserole


4. oyster dressing


5. Kentucky Derby Pie


6. Tenderloin


7. SOS

I wanted to use this as an ode to your wonderful cooking skills. Everything you make is so delicious, and you really are talented. When you said you wanted to go to school for cooking, I really thought, and think, that would be such a perfect opportunity for you. You love it, and I believe that everyone should have the chance to do what they love, and that is where they will be the most successful.

Outside of that, I want you to know that I am very happy for you and Kim. She is a very kind woman, and you can really tell that right off the bat. And I think you are so great with kids that I'm glad that her kids get the chance to experience just how great you really are. I sure know you were always great with me. Who else would get up on the roof and stomp around just so I would think Santa was up there?

Aside from that, I think you and I have a lot in common, you know besides being related and all. I mean, we are both graduating at the same age from college, we both have always valued our friendships at the same high level, and we both have had our fair share of fun. It was always nice to have someone in the family who could sympathize with where I was coming from.

You are such a kind person with such a big heart. I know you have had some rough patches over the past few years or so, and all I hope for you is that your struggles lessen and that you find all the happiness in life that you so very much deserve.

At some point, I really wish that you could come up and see where Casey and I live. Maybe we could go out for lunch or something, if you ever have time that is. Anyway, I look forward to spending Christmas Eve with you and I love you very, very much. Thanks for always being such a great uncle.

Salina

Ali Marie

Ali

Okay, so I really just wrote you a pretty in-depth letter for your birthday. At first, I was worried that I might not have much to say, but after some thought, it occurred to me that I certainly do have a few things to tell you.

I mainly reminisced in your birthday letter, and as I have said continually in these posts to all our friends, I am tired of recounting the past and ready to make new memories as we go further into adulthood.

So, I was thinking about you and all I've seen you do over the years, and suddenly it hit me that their is kind of a pattern with you. For as long as I've known you now, you are always and forever taking care of people. Maybe it's because your the first born, maybe it's your nurturing personality, or perhaps it is your strong will. Most likely, it all these things and more that make people seek you out when they are ill, either physically, emotionally, or both.

One thing is for sure, there are few people who do what you do as well as you do. When someone needs you, you take your job very seriously and devote all your time to that person. I've seen you do this with various family members, friends, and in your relationships. I really admire you for that, and I thought you should know.

But then, you see, as I contemplated your wonderful care taking abilities, I then had another thought. What we do for others, we can't seem to do for ourselves. Like me, many people have come to me for years now asking advice. But when it comes to advising myself, what am I supposed to do? So for you, my dear friend, I imagine when it comes time for you to fall apart or break down, it must be rather difficult for you to reach out. And when I think back, I realize, outside of a very few times, I never have seen you be much other than strong and dependable Ali.

So this Christmas, I give you the gift of a shoulder, my shoulder. If you ever need anyone, I hope you know, that although there is 85 million miles between Jackson and Gwinnett, most of the time, there is cell phone reception. And if that's not good enough, you can come to me, or I will come to you (A GPS was on my Christmas list).

We've been friends for over 10 years now, and we've known each other far longer than that. I just want you to always remember that you have a friend in me. I can't wait to make memories over the next ten years, and the ten years after that (minus that whole getting older crap).

I can't wait to see you at our Christmas exchange, and I wish a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all your friends and loved ones.

Love Always,

Salina

Mother Teresa

Dear Teresa


On the 6th day of Christmas, Aunt Teresa gave to me, six things to appreciate about my life.

1. My family that loves and thinks of me all the time


2. A relationship with a man that always treats me the way I deserve to be treated


3. God who has watched over me my entire life


4. An education which will enable me to have an easier life


5. An Aunt who put me on her cell phone family plan


6. An Aunt who used her credit to buy me a car

So, maybe you didn't say all those things, but your the certainly the reason that I can appreciate many of them. Whenever I'm upset, you always have a special way to calm me down, cheer me up, or whatever the specific situation calls for. I don't even have to say anything but "hey" and you know immediately what kind of day I'm having. This is one of the many reasons I call you "Mother Teresa". You give yourself everyday. You are kind of like "The Giving Tree", all I ask is that you don't let your story end the way that one did.

Without question or qualm you give to your family, your friends, and even those you have never met. Constantly, I see you involved in some kind of charity. Whether it is donating cell phones to battered women's shelters, donating your time to senior citizens retirement homes, or even donating your own hair to "locks of love", you are always giving, giving, and giving.

Today, I want to list six things I appreciate about you:

1. The way you give with all your heart


2. The way you love without judgement


3. The way you love your family


4. The way you always know how to make me smile


5. The way you always give thoughtful advice


6. The way you only want to watch movies with happy endings (I dunno know why, it's just really cute)

The reason I added the picture I did was two-fold. One, it is an image and idea I know you would appreciate. But the other reason is that I can't help but feel like you have been my guardian angel. You have been there for me more times than I can remember (seriously some I don't remember), and no matter how rotten I was, no matter how much trouble I caused, you never left me, never judged me...You just kept loving me, believing in me, and trying to push me in the right direction.

You are an amazing person. You may not be as infamous as Mother Teresa, but I have no doubt that you have left just as big a mark on the people in your small circle. I feel bad for those who haven't got an Aunt T, those who don't know how wonderful it feels to have the best aunt in the world in their life. On the other hand, I'm so happy that you are mine, and that I don't have to share you with anyone else...yet that is...but if I ever have to, there is a good chance I will be willing to share by then.

I can't wait for you to come visit me on Monday, nor can I wait to spend time with you and the rest of the family on Christmas!

Love Always,

Your Favorite Niece

Ashley Dawn

Ashley

Okay, ignore the banner that says 2008. I just thought this was a great city landscape at Christmas, and since that's where you are, I thought you might like it.

The other day, I came across the photo album you made me before I moved to Gwinnett, and it really made me think. I thought about all the times we've shared, the good, the bad, and the plain ole ugly. But the truth is, I suppose I wouldn't trade hardly any of those memories.

People who know me now probably wouldn't think it, but we sure knew how to get in trouble. I think we were practically professionals. Looking back at all the things we did, I'm just glad we're alive. I see a movie like The Hangover, and I can't help but laugh because for a long time was that not our life?

But here we are now, getting too old for that childish shit. And it is weird to say that, ya' know? What I really want to talk about is how proud I am of you. Your about to graduate college, and you have worked so hard to get there. God knows I understand, because while we may have had help here and there along the way, in the end, it is only us that can truly accomplish such a feat. And I know it means similar things to us since we are both the first in a while within our families to graduate college.

I want you to know that I wish you only the best in your future. You do deserve it. I think the tricky thing might be getting you to believe it. I know we both sometimes don't feel worthy of certain things. One might be that whole low self-esteem thing, but the other is because of things we have done that we aren't too proud of. The truth is I hope eventually we can forgive ourselves for things that have already passed and that simply can't be changed at this point.

This Christmas I wish to give you the gift of recognition. Not recognition from me, but from you to remember the great strength you carry inside yourself. I think along the way you might have forgotten, but I haven't. You are one of the strongest people I know, though you may have convinced yourself otherwise over the past few years. But I have seen you triumph over great hardship, and I believe that you have everything it takes to recognize the greatness you possess within yourself.

You are so many things, and the only thing left you need is a license so you can get around and get a job to start a long and successful career. As you finish up your college career, focus on what you think you can provide the world, what will make you happy, and all the things you have to offer. I see the many things, now it is time you do to. Take that kind heart and gentle nature and find a way to help other people. I think that is what you really want, and I think there is no one better or stronger to help those in need.

I hate to sound cliche, but you are my sister. I feel that all of our friends our like sisters, but after living together for so long, I know that you and I have a special bond. And even though it was time to move on, I will always treasure the time we spent in the Muse's, Durango's, Sidebar, Gibney's, etc, etc, etc.

When I was little I used to watch Anne of Green Gables all of the time. You know my middle name was chosen because of Anne. Anne used to call her best friend Diana her kindred spirit. That's what we are. You are my soul mate and I love you with all my heart.

Salina

Harry Smith

Dear Peep

On the 5th day of Christmas, my Peep gave to me, five rules to live by.

1. Always expect the worst, that way when something good happens, you will be presently surprised.

2. To believe in God and Jesus, and the rest is up to fate.

3. To always work hard, no matter what your job and no matter what your title.

4. To love and protect your family at all costs.

5. To find a career or job that makes you happy.

First, I must tell you that you have taught me much more than this over the years, but these are some of the main things I have gotten from you. Some were spoken and others I have constructed from the many conversations we have had over the years. In the end, much of what you have said has shaped who I am today, and it has molded me into who I will always be.

It's funny because I have never agreed on so many points with someone and at the same time disagreed with someone on just as many other points. But the thing is, no matter how much I don't see eye to eye with you on certain issues, I still respect the hell out of you. I always have and I always will.

Over the years, I have always enjoyed spending time with you. Reading to you on the way to school in the mornings when I was little, or playing ABC games in the car when you picked me up from school. In fact, probably half of my memories of you occurred in the car when you were taking me to and fro. And in case I never said thank you for that, well, thank you. I probably owe you 2 bajillion dollars in gas money.

You are a really great person. I have this sneaking suspicion that you may not know that you are. In fact, as I write these, and think about the many wonderful people in my life, it has occurred to me that many people don't know how great they really are. So I guess what I'm hoping is that you know. My whole life, all I have ever seen is you sacrifice for the ones you love in countless ways. God knows, you certainly have done so for me.

How do you say thank you for the person who made sure you never did without? The person who fed and clothed you, the person who gave you all your hearts desires? Truth is, I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out for years now. About the best I've come up with is this:

Thank you Peep. You have given me so many wonderful things. True, many might be monetary, but many more things come to mind for me. Thank you for teaching me to be a hard worker, my diligence, my stubbornness, how to find success, the importance of education, the importance of God, that people will let you down and how to not let down others, a love for music, the greatness of The Lone Ranger, how to pick your nose in a convert able, the importance of exercise, the importance of a good diet, how to make a good campfire dinner, etc, etc, etc.

Most importantly, I want you to know that I am OK and I feel I am going to make a place for myself in the world. Sometimes I feared you thought that you might be forced to always take care of me, but I have worked to provide myself with an education and soon a career as well. In the end all I want, all I have ever wanted is to make you proud.

In the end, what I want you to know more than anything, is how much you mean to me. I love you so much, and nothing in this world could ever change that. I know we had our difficulties, especially when I was a teenager, but that never put a dent in how much our relationship means to me, how good of a man I think you are, and how wonderful of a grandfather you have always been.

Merry Christmas, and I can't wait to see you Christmas Eve.

All My Love,

Salina

Kelly Esther

Kelly

I'm not sure why, but silly images like this always remind me of you. I think the one on top is me as your "secret" Santa this year. Oh, Kelly, Kelly, where to start? It's always a little harder with you because we don't really get very sentimental with each other. Hell, we don't even hug. But, I want you to know just because we aren't affectionate with each other does not mean I love you any less. In my defense, I'm pretty much that way with everybody. I like to think that's just your way of being respectful of my feelings towards constant hugging.

Aside from that, I do have much to say. One is you will never know how much I appreciate the words of kindness you give me. I think you know that the past few years have been a struggle for me, yet you always know what to say to make me feel better. I like to think I am someone to come to for advice, but when it comes to me, frankly, I don't know jack. Several times, I feel that without your guidance I would have been quite lost.

Since 2007, I feel that you have been like my biggest fan. You shower me with more compliments than almost anyone, and I want you to know they don't go unnoticed. I'm just not very good at accepting them. That's just my attempt to not become vain. But the main point is, I appreciate the faith that you've had in me. I know not everyone felt quite the same at first (not out of our friends, but you know what I mean).

Next, I'd like to take a moment out to celebrate the person you have become. I am so amazed every time I see you. You know, it's hard to know someone since they were little and then watch them grow up. It's like this one image gets stuck in your head. For me, it is the Kelly driving around in a Cavalier, chain smoking, wearing all black and bracelets with spikes freaking out and trying to figure out what we were going to do that night. You and I always had that in common, we always had to be doing something. Maybe that is why both of us had to get set flat on our asses to see that wasn't so.

But I look at you now, and you are all grown up, and it's weird for me because, you see, I still see all of us as 17. But then I have people calling me ma'am, and I'm like what the hell are they talking about? I'm just a kid. But we're not, and I guess it's not that bad. I'm so happy for you and all of your achievements. You have always been so smart, but it seems that you never had a lot of faith in yourself when it came to that. But look at you now; you with your kind and loving husband, beautiful house, good career, and three very excited puppies. It will not shock me in the least to soon hear the pitter patter of little feet around your house either because if there is one other thing I know about you, you will make a wonderful mother. I can't wait to know your children, and they'll call me "mom's crazy friend".

To round this out, just go on being the kind person you always have been. For those who couldn't, or can't, see it, screw them. This Christmas, I give you the gift of knowing yourself, appreciating yourself, and being yourself. I wish a Merry Christmas to you and all your loved ones. Can't wait to see you at the Christmas exchange. Get me something good.

Love you,

Salina

To Grandad

Dear Grandad,

On the 4th day of Christmas, my grandad gave to me, four silly nicknames.

Anyone who knows you and me know that you have way more than four nicknames for the people you know best. No, I'm not going to list them because they are all way to silly and embarrassing. But, ever since you came along, all I know is that silly (and sometimes ridiculous) nicknames seem to find me.

The older I get, the more I realize how much you helped me when I was little, even though I didn't know it. You (and grandmommy) for that matter were at times like unsung heroes. Anytime I needed something (and it wasn't completely crazy) I know that you were willing to help out in whatever way possible. That's just the kind of person you are, and I admire that. You give, and you don't expect anything in return. I've seen you help out so many people, from your family to friends in need. You don't do it because you have to, you do it because you want to and it is the right thing to do. That is also just the kind of person you are. (In case you are not catching the pattern, this makes you a pretty great person)

And not only are you a giver, but most of the time, you are so quiet about your giving, that people may not remember. I just want you to know that I remember. You didn't have the easiest life, but you made the best of it. That takes a lot of courage, and I think you to be a very courageous person. I really respect you.

I don't even mind it when you are grumpy. I might be a lot more grumpy if I was you. Heck, I am grumpy, so maybe I just relate. But I also know, for the most part, I can tell you to snap out of it, and you will. Once again, not because you have to, but because you want to and you know it's the right thing to do.

When I really started to understand you was when I found out you are a Pisces with a Taurus rising. Yeah, yeah, I know your not crazy about the stuff, but I am so deal with it. Once again, not because you have to, but because you know it's the right thing to do. Seriously, though, poor grandad. To have such conflicting emotions, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs swirling around in one person, I'm amazed you get out the bed.

But the thing is, grumpy, happy, sick, well, angry, goofy, or whatever emotion you are at that moment, I love them all because I love you. I don't do it because I have to. I do it because I want to and it's right. And that's what I've gotten from you.

Love Always and Forever,

Pigeon Toes

Sarah

To Sarah

Shame on us. We don't even live that far from each other, but I never see you. Sadly, I might see you the least. So even though it isn't quite New Year's yet, I proclaim it is time for a resolution to make time for seeing each other.

Outside of that little blip, I hope that all in your life is well right now. Normally, I hear from people when something is wrong, so though it might be kind of lonely, I can comfort myself with the fact that most likely everything is going well.

It's always intimidating to me when I write you, but mostly because I know you are such a good damn writer. But today, I write not to impress, but to celebrate. Today, I write to celebrate somewhere in the ballpark of a 12 year friendship. Meaning that 12-year-olds are the age we were when we became friends, and all I can do is hope that they raise as much hell as we did.

As I have said before, while I love to reminisce, what I want now is the chance to create new memories. I can't wait to grow old with you and all our friends (Except for the old part). I think we will make a hell of a Pinochle team, or beer pong champion team...if so I will cheer you all on the best I can.

So many changes have occurred throughout our friendship. We have grown in countless ways and we have only just begun. I just love the person you are. Sarah, you just exude this great energy, like you are at peace with yourself and your place in the world. And that's no small feat. Many days I'm not at peace with anything, let along who I am.

My Christmas wish for you is that you follow your dreams, no matter what those dreams may be. I know at one point you wanted to leave the country and work in Europe. Well, my wish is that you make that dream come true. You are so full of talent that it blows my mind. I can't wait to be the one you share your many achievements with. As a fellow writer, I know that we need other people to read our work, almost as much as we need to write it. This need is just inside us, and there isn't much we can do about it.

Outside of talent, you are one of the warmest, kindest, and most giving people I know (a credit to the female race if you will). It is who you are and who you have always been. No matter where you are or what you do, you are going to shine Sarah. You have no choice because this is your fate.

May you and all your loved ones enjoy a Merry Christmas. I love you with all my heart and I will see you at the Christmas exchange next year.

Love,

Salina

*Congratulations again on becoming an aunt!!!

Jessica Nacole

Jessica

I realized the other day that you and I have known each other for 15 years. You are the oldest friend that is still a part of my life. Not you old, the friendship old... Just wanted to make that clear. Just to think that we literally played on the playground together, and now you have a little girl old enough to do the same is quite a trip. And what a trip it has been...

I know we have slipped in and out of each other's daily life depending on circumstances, but you have never been more than a phone call away. It is also comforting to know that there are people in my life that we can just pick up instantly where we left off, and you are certainly one of those people.

I know you have had to put up with my shenanigans over the years, and for that I thank you tremendously. A few years ago, I wasn't myself. Looking back then, I don't even know that girl, but I'm sure glad you thought I was worth the trouble.

Seeing you go through the things you have the past few years has not been easy. Sometimes I wanted to get involved, but I thought the better thing to do was wait till you needed me and not interfere. I know things have been tough, but as I have been saying all along, you are a very strong woman, though you may not always feel that you are so. But life has a funny way of playing tricks on us, though it may not seem all that funny.

Seeing past all the hardship that life brings may seem impossible, but with faith, we can overcome anything. And if there is anything your family has given you, it is faith.

I feel like I've been writing this a lot lately, but I hope you can begin to see all the things you can offer. And I'm not just talking about looks. Of course you are very beautiful, but there is so many other things that being a woman is all about, and so many more things that you have. You are bright, responsible, and dilligent. Your whole life, I feel these qualities are the ones you have had the hardest time seeing. If you put your mind to it, there is nothing you can not do.

So this Christmas, I give you the gift of loving yourself. It is the first step to the rest of your life. And I forsee a wonderful life. It is right at your fingertips, like the rest of us, all you have to do is grab it with both hands. I want you to know that I have and always will believe in you.

Merry Christmas to you and all of your loved ones. May you receive all of life's little blessings. See you at our gift exchange.

Love Always,

Cee

Anna Darlene

Grandmommy

On the third day of Christmas, my grandma gave to me, three chances I didn't quite deserve...

When I was in high school, no one else thought I should have a car, and you supported it.

When I left school and work in 2007 because I didn't know what I wanted anymore, you supported me.

When I decided to get my second car, you supported me.

Some of these situations worked out for the best, and others, well, not so much, but you always believed in me. No matter what, you stood by me, even when I was dead wrong, you never left my side. Blind love, now there's something you don't see every day.

Ever since I was little, you just took me under your wing, no questions asked. For that, and so many other things, I thank you. You are a strong and wonderful woman, full of so much talent. Everything you touch turns to gold, though I don't think you see it.

From you, there is no doubt that I got my sharp eye and appreciation for all that is beautiful. If luxury is a inherited trait, then you must have genetically passed it down, as well as my affinity for various hairstyles.

If there is one thing we share, it is a love for the holidays. And no matter how screwed up the last Christmas was, we still look forward to the next one just as much, if not more. The older I get, the more I appreciate my family, all that has been done for me, and all that we do for one another. I'm sorry I distanced myself for so long, but know that you were never far from my thoughts, nor out of my heart.

If I could ask for one thing this Christmas, I ask that you see all the wonderful things in yourself that I have seen my entire life. Merry Christmas and I look forward, as always, to our family getting together Christmas Eve.

Love,

Salina

To Nancy Jo

Grandmommy,

On the second day of Christmas, my grandma gave to me, two very special memories...

Well, truthfully, you've given me many more, but I want to share with you my two favorites. The first, is when I was little and used to stay with you while my mom went to work. Every day she would drop me off with McDonald's pancakes, and every morning I would share one with you.

My other favorite memory of you and I is when we used to watch Guiding Light together. Surely, I would be playing with dolls or some other toy, but for a good minute I was just as up to date on the scandal as you.

And today, we still share a passion for some similar shows. I can't wait to call you and talk about Desperate Housewives and all their latest antics. And though these memories will never leave my heart and mind, that is not all I wish to say to you.

Thank you for always being there for me. You are such a wonderful grandmother and I know I can always talk to you, no matter how sensitive the subject. Anytime I feel upset about something, you always seem to know exactly what to say. Your wisdom has guided me many times, and for that I am forever in your debt. And even when you know I am headed down the wrong path, you still manage to love me without judgement.

I suppose the other thing I could think you for is for my stubborness. For today though, we shall call it dilligence. While stubborness has gotten me in trouble a few times, dilligence has served me well in school and my relationships. So I thank you for this character trait. For now, all I can hope is that one day, I am as dilligent as you.

Finally, I think you for the lessons you have taught me, and chief among those, is to pick my battles. This mentality has saved me many times from a hard and useless road. Taking the road less traveled is one thing, but to take the road with landmines is just ridiculous.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, full of joy, family, and love. Most of all, as we gather this year, may we remember the reason for the season.

All my love,

Salina Anne

Sabrina

Mom

On the first day of Christmas, my mother gave to me, my basic personality.

From my facial expressions to my sarcastic wit, there is no doubt who has influenced the person I am most. Sometimes we are so much alike it's scary. But I guess I should say thanks. If ripping off personalities was copyright infringement, you could sue me big time.

Every time it comes to writing to you is when I seem to freeze up the most. As I have said before, how do you thank the woman who gave you life? Some days, I think the finger might be the best way, but most days, I know I owe you everything. I suppose there is no more appropriate person to start off my 12 Days of Christmas with.

You and I both know you weren't a conventional mother, and I guess thank you for that. I wouldn't be who I am today, if it wasn't for who you were then. However, I sure appreciate who you have become today, as we both continue to grow up. I think both of us can see that a person never truly stops growing and changing. If they did, what purpose could life truly serve? But the person you have become over the past few years has been a life saver. You have, for the most part, become so much more patient and calm. I never thought I would be able to come to you to calm me down, but I can, and I do. So I thank you.

I am so excited to share another Christmas with you and our family. This time of year is so special to me, and I spend a great part of the year anticipating the next time it will all come around again. Though you are just about the world's greatest Christmas gift giver, I want you to know that I don't care about presents, not even a fraction of how much I care about you.

I know you get down on yourself sometimes about when I was little, but I think you are the best mom, and my favorite for that matter. So this Christmas I celebrate you and everything you are, and everything you will be. Sometimes you have been like a friend, other times like a sister, but at the end of the day you are one hell of a mother.

Love,

Cee

The Twelve Days of Christmas

To My Beloved Family

This year, I regret to say that money is a little tighter than normal. However, as you know I am a big fan of going shopping for Christmas for my family. Since that isn't an option this year, my gift will be the gift of words. Each day, I will post and dedicate a new blog to a new family member, which will run straight up until Christmas Day. You have been randomly selected, so the order has no meaning, and I hope you enjoy Salina's Twelve Days of Christmas!

Love Always,

Salina

To Sylvia

Sibby Sue

First, may I congratulate you on becoming an aunt and an extended congratulations to your future niece or nephew who will undoubtedly be the luckiest little one I know. Please tell your sister and Kirk how happy I am for them. I'm sure the world will rarely see two people make that good of parents.

Where should I start Sylvia? You are so many wonderful things, and it is amazing that one person can be so great. Your quirky sense of humor, kind heart, and great dance moves make you close to the perfect woman. Anytime I am in my car jammin' out, there is no one I would rather be with. Sometimes it would be more mellow like listening to Staind out in front of Marcus's house, and sometimes we would tear it up with Three 6; you as Juicy J, me as Gangsta Boo?

But I am tired of talking about memories and am excited to make new ones as each of us venture further into our adult lives. I can't wait to write you, congratulating you on your 3rd grandchild, your retirement, or your cross country trip with your future husband in a Winnebago. I have no doubt that you will continue to succeed in whatever avenue you pursue, and I will be one of your biggest fans (Even if you did cross out my 2nd grade picture).

On a more serious note, I hesitate to put this out here like this, but I am sorry for ever hurting you. There are many things I regret, but none as much as hurting you. Even though I am better now, I will never forget the wrongs I did. I thank you for having the kind of heart that is capable of forgiving someone others may not have. I promise to never be that person again. You have always been a true friend, and I admire and respect you for that.

So today, while I am still a poor college student, I want to give you the gift of friendship. I wish you and all your loved ones a very Merry Christmas. When we have little money we tend to remember the reason for the season better, and one of those reasons is love. I love you Sylvia, and can't wait to see you for our Christmas gift exchange!

Salina

Taylor

Taylor

First, may I say congratulations again to the next friend I have daring enough to take the plunge. May your life as wife be grand. Secondly, a Merry Christmas to you and all your loved ones, and may you get all your heart's desires. Though I imagine what came this Thanksgiving completed a big part of that desire.

Taylor Ann, in case I do not tell you enough, I love you very much. You are a true friend through and through. You tell people the truth, even if they don't like it. You slap people back into reality when they need it, and I should know (True it does take some of us longer to catch up with you).

I have often heard you say that the greatest thing that ever happened was the night your mom let you take all of us in her SUV after the pageant. I like to think it is a defining moment in my life as well. I don't know where I would be without the tough love you provided over the years. Somehow you've always managed to balance fun with responsibility. You lucky bitch. Others of us (me) can't seem to find that balance.

I know often times you are down on yourself, but I beg of you to see the amazing qualities I have seen for a decade now. Your strength, your beauty, your intelligence, your creativity...You are amazing (I swear I'm not trying to get in your pants, though it does sound like a line). The only thing you've ever lacked is the confidence to see how great you are. Okay, and you are the biggest procrastinator I know, but that's okay too.

I want you to know that I miss you all the time. I realize you have made about 10 friends to the every one I have made since high school, which is another strength of yours. All I ask you to remember is who the A team is. No matter how far your front door is from mine, you will always be in my heart. Without you, my life would mean so much less, and you changed and shaped who I am in more ways than you will ever know. I love you.

Salina Anne

A Special Christmas Gift

To My Dear Friends

This Christmas I don't have as much money as I wish I did. What can I say, times are tough, and the purse strings must be a little tight. But what I do have is group of extraordinary friends. Some of us have been friends since 1994, and others since around 1999, but one thing remains constant, our love for one another.

Though we have endured things that would break most friendships apart, (sex, drugs, and rock & roll?) somehow we have managed to pull through and practice our skills in forgiveness, patience, and agape. I personally have been quite the screw up over the years, and so I extend my appreciation to each one of these amazing women who have deemed me worthy of their friendships all these trials, tribulations, and years later.

And though life has pulled us in varying directions, somehow we steal a little time each year to celebrate our triumphs, grieve our losses, and of course acknowledge a little holiday cheer. For many years, save a few, we gather for a Christmas gift exchange. This year, my gift is the gift of words to those who have impacted my life so. Each day I will write a post for these wonderful women in no particular order: Taylor, Sylvia, Jessica, Sarah, Kelly, Ashley, and Ali. I love you all. Merry Christmas.

Salina

P.S. Kelly- No frets I plan on your gift being more than words!

Do we all Look the Same?

Fashion. Is it about individuality, or fitting into some prescribed notion of what people think is acceptable at a certain point in time? Almost every time I leave my house lately, I seem to run into my stunt double. It is some girl wearing some version of tights, boots, matching belt and shirt-type dress. The only difference is that they are usually less or more attractive than myself.

I'm not sure I have any answers, but what I do have is a suggestion. Yesterday, as I flipped through the latest Glamour, I ran across an interview with style icon Sarah Jessica Parker. She said something quite pivotal.

"You have to get the idea out of your head that you can only wear what everyone
else is wearing. Then you'll enjoy dressing more."

I suggest we listen to what SPJ has to say. Usually, when we decide to be trendy, we take less risks. This doesn't make any since. Today, we live in a time when you can do things that have never before been acceptable. We can mix browns and blacks, leave the belt at home when wearing jeans, and rock white all winter long.

I declare that we wear what makes us feel good about ourselves. If skinny jeans don't make you feel, well skinny, don't wear the damn things. Wear something more comfortable. For the past few months fashion gurus have been advocating mixing sweats and high-heels, but if this doesn't do it for you, well don't do it.

Sometimes I pick up things on TV I think might work. A few months ago, I was watching an 80's movie and the main character was was wearing a white tuxedo shirt with three belts over it. I liked it and mixed it with a jean skirt, gray tights, black flats, and a dark gray and purple lace undershirt. Then I topped it off with a black scarf. I got lots of compliments. Because I was being ultra-trendy? Not really. Because I was spending lots of money? No way. The only new items was a scarf for $15 and the tights for $5.99. The compliments come when you start feeling good about your own choices.

Fashion is about your own personality.

A Thought for Tonight

Tonight, sitting home sick and weary, I ponder the season. 'Tis the season to be jolly... But around me I see little holiday joy. What I do see are angry, pushy shoppers. What I do see are exhausted and underpaid holiday staff. What I do see are people spending money they don't have, even though, didn't we just learn that lesson?

I grew up loving the holidays, for myself Christmas, but for many others Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc. There is something about this time of year that has always felt so magical. And even though things never turn out like you plan: aka two people in your family are fighting, you can't afford what you really want to get that 'special person', or grandma stuffing your face with that nasty fruit cake again...somehow I still always find myself sad it all ended and waiting for next year.

The older I get, the more I realize that there truly is an even more special reason for this time of year. It is a time for belief. We need to remember to believe in ourselves and each other. I have a card that I carry around in my apron that a customer gave me. On the front is a picture of Mother Teresa and on the back is one of her prayers. Though I am not Catholic, I believe these words are helpful, especially in the season of giving and forgiving:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

So, this jolly season as I make my way through the angry shoppers, pissed off employees, and other holiday fare, I take this quote with me. It reminds me to be a better person, even when it would be easiest to be a real ass!