A New Beginning

It recently occurred to me that today is the end of a decade. Why this didn't hit me earlier, I am not sure, but the end result is the beginning of a new human marked time. Perhaps that is why I didn't notice it, because as humans, we tend not to feel what is in front of us as much as we tend to feel what is behind us. And to those of us who are old enough, we can look back on the past ten years. The ups and downs, the gains and losses, the triumphs and mistakes all float back to us, or in my case rush at me from all sides as I consider the choices I made and the situations I couldn't control.
And I think back to ten years ago, a brand new millennium, when I was just 14, but I at the time I felt pretty much the same as I do now. But I never really was a child, just full of childish ideas sometimes. I remember being upset because I couldn't drive, and it was sure to be the wildest party the Earth had seen in a thousand years. Somehow I survived, perhaps it was the other 14 year old, Ashley Wright, who giggled over our youth on the phone, or maybe the fact that I definitely made up for that night in the coming years--though perhaps not always in a pleasing way for my friends who often had to come to my rescue over the next handful of years.
And now, my head drifts to 14 year olds today who probably feel 20 years old and long to run free and be released of the shackles of those hardest of years, where you know how to do it, but no one will let you. How old they must feel, while in truth they haven't even begun. Too bad I couldn't recognize those facts 10 years prior for myself...
A lot happens between the ages of 14 and 24. The biggest events in my life have occurred so far within this chunk of time, and though I feel quite old today, there is no doubt in my mind that I will look back to the next 10 years and remember at 34 just how young I am today. Though I feel like I have battled a lot for my age, I am quite sure that I am still full of naivety somehow, and though I do not like the thought of aging, somehow it is comforting to know that there are still things left to be learned.
Perhaps that is how I can sum up the last ten years of my life, a learning experience. And much like academically, it took quite a few run throughs to start getting things right. Many of life's lessons, I have fought tooth and nail against, but in the end, the world has a way of setting you straight, no matter how much fight you have in you.
Somehow, I can't help but feel a little sad today. As a Taurus, I find it quite hard to move on and even harder to accept the vast changes that come with this ever changing life. But, I suppose in the time that humans have created, I have picked no better day to end the unintended seven year moonlighting position of indentured servitude...oh excuse me, I meant serving...tables that is. Funny that the former quite literally did last seven years when people wanted to become Americans long ago. And in a way, I feel like I have paid many debts to get me where I am today. And even though I have made countless mistakes along the way, I would not change one thing, not because I don't have regrets, but because I fear that if it were for one different breath, one changed step, I would not be sitting here, but somewhere else. And whether somewhere else would be better or worse, for now, there is no place I would rather be than here (minus that whole job thing I have to do tonight).
So for anyone that has to endure this passage, I wish you a wonderfully fun (and safe) New Year. May the coming decade bring all the joy you deserve!

Happy New Year!

To My One True Love

Casey

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, everything I will ever need...by just being exactly who he is.

On the final and twelfth day of Christmas I am breaking my pattern of numbers because I just can't find a number to define what you mean to me. It is hard to believe we have known each other for nearly five years now. I can't tell you in words how much you add to my life. The last years have been some of the happiest in my life, and I owe quite a bit of that feeling to you.

And how lucky do I feel that you are not only my love, but you are my companion and my best friend too. How can I thank you for the things you do for me on a daily basis? I suppose I could start by telling you...

I thank you for being there for me when I fall apart, and for being there to build me back up again. I thank you for always believing in me, when I never have known how. Thank you for helping me financially as I try to make it to graduation. My hope is that I can return the favor when I am steady on my feet. Thank you for cooking for me all the time, buying us dinner when we are both exhausted, and constantly bringing us home little treats for our unquenchable sweet tooth. Most of all, I think you for your constant consideration. My whole life I had been taught that men are inconsiderate, but you changed that.

I hate to sound cliche, but they broke the mold when they made you. You are everything I ever wanted and more. In so many ways you have changed my life and gave me strength I had long ago forgotten about. I love the way you know what I'm thinking just my looking at my face or by hearing the sound of my voice. I love the way you know me so well. Most of all, I love the way we love each other.

And no matter how tough things get from time to time, know that we always have one another. I know that's what gets me through as I struggle to meet my goals. I know that no matter how horrible my day is, no matter how much school kicks my ass, no matter how crappy customers at work treat me, I have a sweet, gentle, and loving person to come home to, and that is the greatest Christmas gift I could ever receive!

All My Love,

Salina

William Albert

Dear Dad

On the 11th day of Christmas, my father gave to me, eleven traits that unknowingly came from him.

I regret to say for a long time, I didn't really know you. But as it came to be, I am so happy that you are such a big, and special, part of my life now. Here is 11 things that definitely came from you, most I wasn't sure of until we became closer:

1. intelligence


2. shyness


3. ability to fake an outgoing personality


4. sensitivity


5. bark worse than our bite


6. straight forward/straight shooter


7. hard worker (although arguably that came from everyone)


8. wrong person to back into a corner


9. silly singing and dancing (also arguable from several people)


10. tendency to talk over people when we're excited


11. big calves

There is no doubt in my mind that there are many, many more things we have in common, but, you know, I'm trying to keep a theme up here. Still, as time goes on, I find that we share more and more in our basic personalities and other things than I ever imagined.

I can't tell you how much it means to me that we are closer now. I know the family history is complicated, but I am glad that we could finally get passed things neither one of us could control. And strange enough, but as time goes on, I feel like we get even better at this father-daughter thing. Thank you for all you have helped me with over the past [almost three] years now. You have talked to me when I'm upset, helped make ends meet when things are tough, and just been an all around great dad. Especially if you consider how far away we live from each other.

I hate that we had to cut the New York trip, but the important thing is that we get the chance to see each other over the holidays. And hopefully, soon Casey and I can make the trip to see you. We both just have the worst schedules ever. Anyways, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I have never seen you as happy as you are lately. It really is great to see, and I hope that your happiness only grows and continues on through out the years.

I know I'm not going to see you on Christmas Day, but I think what you are doing is very sweet and speaks to the very kind person you are. I'm sure that when you're surrounded by good and loving company, you will have a very Merry Christmas, but just remember you have a whole family in Georgia missing and loving you. Keep in touch about when you are able to get into town, and I am so excited to see you.

Love Always,

Cee

Holden

Dear Holden

On the 10th day of Christmas, my cousin gave to me, 10 bruises purposefully.

From ambushing and beating me up while I'm on the couch to attacking me directly, you have consistently been trying to kill me since you were little. But it's okay because I know that it's mostly in love.

However, I must mention that you are a great cousin. For as long as I can remember, and to this day, you still are so good to me when I come to visit. You're always so helpful and willing to go get me food or whatever I need. Thank you for always making me feel welcome when I come down to your side of town. And though I can't come over as much as I used to, I enjoy being around you every time I can get there...

I can't believe that you are 14 years old. It is so weird to think that at one point I was holding you in my arms, and you were just a brand new baby. It is quite crazy to see you go through the phases. I watched you grow into your head, and don't take it personally, I'm still growing into my teeth so... You just used to hit that cannonball on every wall, table, floor. It was as if there was a magnet in that thing.

Then I experienced your question phase, which I'm no doctor, but I'm relatively sure that it lasted longer than most and at the movies you came close to losing your life. At the time your volume never changed, no matter the circumstance.

And now I'm watching you go through a new phase. Being a teenager is a mixed blessing you see because it's when you have the least responsibilities with the most freedom. On the other hand, you never feel more awkward, misunderstood, or insecure. There's a reason they call it teen angst. And it almost seems like tradition that the moment you hit 13, everything gets weird. But you will also have some of the best times of your life. Remember to not listen to other people's experiences, and concentrate on making your own.

But Holden just remember that you are an intelligent, inquisitive, and creative person. For a while I thought you were going to grow up to be a writer like your cousin. You've got all the stuff their to do it. But then I think about your Uncle Billy that thinks you've got everything it takes to be a pro bicycler. And that's it, you have all the tools there to do or be whatever you want to be. Not everybody has that ability, so you should be happy to be one of the few who do.

Just so you know, it does make me sad that I can't be down there as often, but that makes the times I get there all the more special. I look forward to seeing you at Christmas!!

Love Always,

Salina

Scherry

Dearest Scherry

On the 9th day of Christmas, my God-Mother gave to me, nine inspirations as to the woman I wanted to be.

The following traits you possess I have always admired and aspired to in my own life:

1. independence


2. intelligence
   
3. beauty


4. domestication


5. creativity


6. style


7. sophistication


8. wit


9. an insatiable laugh

How on Earth could I leave a fellow Smith out of the running for my family Christmas blog? (Although technically I'm only half Smith) And though we may not be blood related, nor right down the street from each other anymore, you are never far from my thoughts. This also doesn't make you any less like family, after all, you are my God-Mother. And so what if we're not Catholic, we can do what we like, and you were ordained by the hand of friendship to take me off my mother's hands from time to time and buy me really cool stuff.

I couldn't ask for a better (or crazier) God-Mother. But what I want you to know is how much I have appreciated having you in my life. No wonder I have never felt like a child. I only had adult friends, and you were always one of them. What has really been special about our relationship is that we have loved each other up close when possible and from a distance when necessary without judgment.

Scherry you are much like a fine wine, and you only get better with age. I can only hope that I will be as fortunate as you in that department. And while I hope to somehow luck out there, we actually have quite a lot in common, especially our nature, which is mostly affected by our Taurean birth. We crave the fine things in life, from aesthetics to dining to luxurious home comforts. We are also both slaves to our schedules and despise change.

But the one change I could handle is if you ever decide to move back home...though I couldn't blame you if you didn't (since Georgia sucks). At any rate, though I won't see you over the holidays, I hope that you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love Always,

Salina

Sheldon

Dear Sheldon

On the 8th day of Christmas, my cousin gave to me, eight bruises accidentally.

This is quite a true statement by the way. In every sense of the word, you have always been Bam-Bam. From the time you were two, and nearly gave me a concussion, to now when you hug me and almost break me in two. But that's okay because your like over 6 feet tall, and you've practically outgrew me by the time you were four.

But despite all the bruises I have accumulated over the years, I want you to know that you are a wonderful cousin. I actually look at you and Holden as more like my nephew's because of the age difference...I mean what age difference? I'm only 19 you know.

Seriously though, thank you for always putting up with me being at your house when I was younger and always having these "serious" chats with your mom, and then kicking you out of the room. Thank you for always doing just about whatever I ask and of course always making me feel right at home when I come over. If that's not a good cousin, then I ask, what is?

And of course, there is just the person, almost a man, that you have grown into. You are genuinely sweet (definitely didn't get that from me), and not just with people you like, but everybody. I mean I have watched you help random strangers with packages, hold open doors, etc. I mean that kind of stuff ended way before my generation, so it is good to see someone still be so kind and respectful to others...without money even.

Of course all you have accomplished academically is amazing. I can't believe your in college. All I ask is that you not graduate before me...please. Don't shame me. Really I am 87 percent kidding, and 67 percent okay with you graduating before me. I wish you good luck in all your future endeavours, but clearly with brains like yours, you don't even need luck.

Finally, this is important. It is from me to you, cousin to cousin, and straight from the heart. Enjoy your life! You only get one, and you're young. Don't waste it all behind a desk or on a computer. I will add to not necessarily have as much fun as some of us (aka me), but relax! You have got plenty of time, and you won't be young forever. Those bills and all that other yucky adult crap sneaks up on you faster than you realize. In the end, life is about more than just school, careers, and money. It's also about friends, family, and fun!

Anyway, I miss you and I will see you on Christmas. Until then have a great winter break!

Love,

Salina

Unca Bob

Dear Bob







On the 7th day of Christmas, my uncle gave to me, seven of the best holiday recipes.

1. Lamb


2. Holiday bake


3. broccoli cheese casserole


4. oyster dressing


5. Kentucky Derby Pie


6. Tenderloin


7. SOS

I wanted to use this as an ode to your wonderful cooking skills. Everything you make is so delicious, and you really are talented. When you said you wanted to go to school for cooking, I really thought, and think, that would be such a perfect opportunity for you. You love it, and I believe that everyone should have the chance to do what they love, and that is where they will be the most successful.

Outside of that, I want you to know that I am very happy for you and Kim. She is a very kind woman, and you can really tell that right off the bat. And I think you are so great with kids that I'm glad that her kids get the chance to experience just how great you really are. I sure know you were always great with me. Who else would get up on the roof and stomp around just so I would think Santa was up there?

Aside from that, I think you and I have a lot in common, you know besides being related and all. I mean, we are both graduating at the same age from college, we both have always valued our friendships at the same high level, and we both have had our fair share of fun. It was always nice to have someone in the family who could sympathize with where I was coming from.

You are such a kind person with such a big heart. I know you have had some rough patches over the past few years or so, and all I hope for you is that your struggles lessen and that you find all the happiness in life that you so very much deserve.

At some point, I really wish that you could come up and see where Casey and I live. Maybe we could go out for lunch or something, if you ever have time that is. Anyway, I look forward to spending Christmas Eve with you and I love you very, very much. Thanks for always being such a great uncle.

Salina