I need to know the new protocol. When someone sneezes you used to say 'God bless you'. Now I understand that not everyone believes in a higher being, so long ago I dropped it to just 'bless you'. Although, I must admit that like comedian Dane Cook, I don't exactly like blessing someone because I'm not God. It feels a bit sanctimonious. But lately, I've been noticing that people don't even respond anymore to 'bless you'. So much so, that I'm beginning to feel a little self conscious. Is it anyone who says this common phrase? Is it just me? Do I smell?
Over time words and sayings take on new meanings. In puritan-colonial days, to call someone a hussy meant a housewife. To call someone a hussy today means you're about to get bitch slapped. Hermaphrodite is no longer an acceptable term. It is now appropriate to call that condition intersex. And so forth and so on.
So, what would be worse? To offend someone unknowingly, or to be that jackass that says nothing when someone sneezes?
Other options: Salut? No, I feel like that lame ass that says hola instead of hello. Not that Spanish is lame, it's actually a beautiful language, but it's not cute when that person is some American who literally only knows that one word in Spanish.
Gazoontite? No, that makes the loser who says salut seem like a badass. Although, gazoontite literally means that you wish them good health. Perhaps that's the message we want to send, therefore leaving an uncomfortable religious conversation far away. Then again 'I wish you good health' isn't a far cry from 'live long and prosper'.
Perhaps, we should all switch over to a more positive and cheering-style method. Maybe a fist pump and an ol' 'Wooh, way to expell that mucus!" or 'Nice snot rocket!' Nahhhh. I guess for now, I'll keep saying 'Bless You', and they'll keep saying nothing. Hey, why ruin a good thing. Good manners is so 2007.
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